Sunday

Today was a good day.

The first time I ever stepped foot into church I had this overwhelming sense of returning home like I had been somewhere really foreign for a long time but I had finally made it back. My early experiences with the Spirit were very much like this and that's how I identified it.

It doesn't feel like coming home now...at least all the time and that's to be expected. What does matter is that I'm still there despite what I might be feeling because I know what I should be doing. The time for playing dumb has come and gone.

And for the first time, in a long time, I am cemented with a resolve that I will see myself accomplishing the spiritual goals I have set. Back in my pre-LDS days I was very much optimistic of where I wanted to be spiritually but I had no idea how I was going to get there but that never stopped me. The way to get there now shouldn't be stopping me. Resolve is a funny thing. I try to define it as finding some kind of inner hope or activating faith but it's different...it's abstract like a toddler's finger painting that is sold for money but it's not...it's real and I'm happy to be feeling the realness of it all.