About 30 Minutes Until Class Ends

Today, I saw someone wearing jeans with spandex in the waist. I immediately thought that he was pregnant--mostly because of Juno and the movie Junior. Frankly, I am a bit ashamed that the Governator was in Junior. He's got a pretty healthy list of blockbusters and then he does Junior (and by "does", I mean stars in). I even liked him in Kindergarten Cop. It's pretty much the best interrogation film ever: "Who is your daddy? And what does he do?"

Okay, maybe not the best because in the Dark Knight, Batman does a pretty good job of interrogating the Joker and by "pretty good job", I have no idea what Batman was saying the whole time so I assume that it was something that was upsetting him. If it was about that one girl blowing up, I can live with that but I would have preferred if Katie Holmes got blown up and the irony if her bones turned into deadly shrapnel and killed not only the cast of Dawson's Creek but Tom Cruise. She would be dead, yes, but I would still vote her in for the Nobel Peace Prize.

And yes, that was punny because Nobel as in Alfred Nobel invented TNT...just furthering my belief that although Wikipedia is corrupt and easily edited by knowledge graffitiers, I still get more out of life and learning from Wikipedia than from my professors.

There is one professor I currently have whom I refuse to address as "Dr." It's not because her last name is French and she reminds me of France and the gypsies there, but because she is a liberal, soft-spoken (on par with Mr. Rogers), and demeaning. She brought up Freud in our Environmental Psych class (which isn't about how your environment affects psychology despite how misleading the class title might sound) but instead of tying it loosely or even pathetically to the psychological field, she brought up Freud's defense mechanism.

And she didn't just bring it up.

"Global warming is a fact. We can't deny it. There is so much evidence of it but a lot of people find themselves in denial."

I'm in denial that Prof. French is actually a legitimate educator.

That example works better than hers.

And I didn't even get it from Wikipedia.

During the summer term, I noticed that some classes were terribly put together that I am embarrassed to admit that the teachers could have accomplished more if they made a Facebook group for the class...but I know I'm a revolutionary kind of guy, but at least it's more reliabler than Blackboard.

Blackboard...an electronic classroom so aptly named! English was not my first language so hearing teachers refer to the blackboard that was obviously green with a faint dusting of yellow chalk was confusing. I still remember when whiteboards were installed.

That made more sense.

But oh how I hated overhead projectors...Mrs. Twitchell, my algebra teacher in 8th grade, had an over abundance of saliva. Watching bits and spit fly onto the overhead was like watching the Rebels doing bombing runs on the Death Star...okay it was exactly like that.

I made a friend in my psychology of gender class. I'm only writing this because I know he'll eventually end up reading this...right off the bat, I am going to readily admit that I wish I could grow facial hair like him. I keep telling myself that one day I will be a man. That "one day" has drifted further and further away, disappearing almost magically like a ship fading out of the horizon.

Oh, the joys of being Asian. If we really were ninjas, that would be cool, but we're not.

My new friend's name is Lee. He has a young un' named Bo. It's good to know that in an era of Mormondom where you get names like Beverlinda Smith, it's good to know that parents like Lee and his wife are still sticking with what works.

Which is why I wish I was Black...because the names I would come up with! I would give new meaning to the apostrophe: Le'Phon'James'Olo'Nay-Nay. This would be a girl's name.

I'm at about the 15 minute mark before class ends. No lie. I am very tempted to not go to my Race and Minorities class. It's pretty much the most ridiculous class on this so-called Univerisity's campus. I think the only thing I have to look forward to is an entirely enclosed building made from construction Lego blocks that will be warm throughout the summer. I love how people call certain sections "the LA building". The last time I checked, it was more like the "LA Wing" of the entire building that is UVU--ugh, I hate saying UVU...it just doesn't sound pleasing to the ear...and it sounds like a woman's private parts--true story.

In conjunction with that stretch jeans thing, there's this kid in my class (I have two classes with him) and he wears these cut-off t-shirts. I think they're even called an "A" type shirt because of the shape but I'm pretty sure "A" is for a-hole. In both classes, he thinks he is the shizniz...if he were Dr. Dre, he would run around talkin' about guns like he ain't got none. The shirt is just weird. The place where your arms protrude from features a slit that goes down to about under your ribs. Is it because he can't see his "massive muscles" if they are restricted to a sleeve? I don't know. Is it aerodynamic? Maybe. But why would you need aerodynamics when you are sitting down? And now Lee reminds me that it must be for air conditioning. He's got a point. I think the A-shirt dude wears a t-shirt to school one day and then cuts off the sleeves the next day so he can wear a new shirt to school the new day. It's kind of ingenious--but you know you don't see everyone all the time...I would just FeBreeze the shirt up. Maybe he's using the sleeve cut offs to make something...like a sleeveless shirt.

Heaven forbid...he's probably from SoCal. Like you know? Cause he's all like this and then he totally like did that and like it went like that like all the time.

I hang my head in shame at SoCal when we produce people like sleeveless guy.

Another point from Lee: the girl he is sitting next to is in a tank top...perchance he is trying to fit in with her. Their colors are matching but I don't think her tank top is homemade.

I can't get over how much I hate those shirts!

Those shirts for the armless!

I can't remember the last time I saw a superhero that left that much of his body unprotected...well, that's a lie cause what the Incredible Hulk, Colossus, Wolverine, the old TV disturbingly/questionably gay Robin, for sure even Mr. Fantastic had clothes that stretched with himself (and I've always wondered if he would be liberal with his stretching for certain parts of his body...that dirty Reed Richards).

Okay. Class is done.