Huh.

I recently turned in a paper which started out with: "The gross square footage of UVU is approximately (insert actual number here)." The professor, aforementioned as being called professor as to refer to her as a Dr would be a very large and filthy disgrace to actual real and legitimate Drs everywhere, wrote two comments next to this sentence and nice, neat, motherly cursive: 1) What is gross square footage? and 2) Is this approximate?

Seriously.

Last Saturday, I went up to Temple Square with my ward. There was an event going down at the Tabernacle and having never been inside, I decided that I would be ignorant of being inside no longer. It turns out the event was a Hispanic Christmas presentation called Reciebe El Rey...or something like that...or as I affectionately called it, "Latino Fest '08". Needless to say, we only stayed there for a total of ten minutes...though Case and Miriam were convinced that I could understand what was going on...not so much...but last night, I dreamed in Spanish.

This is unusual because I don't fluently speak Spanish so most of my dream was in broken Spanish. The whole scene started when my coed Provo volleyball was invited to play in a tournament with regional winners. For some odd reason, the majority of the teams were either Latino, African American, or Polynesian. The tournament was being sponsored by an Evangelical church that was hosting the games at an LDS stake center but in order to play, each of the 20 or so teams present had to learn an assigned song and perform. My team was assigned the word "apple" and we had to come up with a song about apples...we decided to sing an a capella medley of some Beatles' songs because some of their albums featured the fruit on the cover.

There was anger coming from the person in charge of the event because we didn't do the song as it was meant to be done with apples in the lyrics. Eventually, we befriended the Latino teams and African American teams. It turned into a gospel choir right out of Baptist country down yonder in the South.

My dreams have been kind of crazy lately.

The other night, I dreamed it was the end of the world. It was like the Matrix because we had tried to nuclear bomb the world to fight the locust from Gears of War but ended up poisoning the atmosphere. The human race then had to go underground which enabled us to leave the nuclear ravaged air but we were now fighting with the locust on a daily basis because we were on their turf now...but worse than the locust were the worms. They looked like maggots but their mouths were like those worm things from Tremors. These ugly worm things tunneled underneath the surface and devoured humans easily like a vacuum effortlessly sucking up Skittles. And like I said, it was the end of the world. The locust cornered all of humanity in a tunnel and on the other end was a Tremor-worm. There was no way out and the Tremor-worm slowly worked its way from one end to the other and ATE EVERYONE. There were some pretty morbid screaming as people tried to avoid the worm but there was no way out and we were all packed in so tight and the worm just kept coming.

Dream analysis that!