I bought a new book today to add to the bookshelf. I don't think I'm refined enough to call it a library just yet but I am probably snooty enough to give it a go ahead as my library also contains issues of the American Psychologist from the Journal of the American Psychological Association as I have become intrinsically linked to their organization (not by professional rapport or invitation, mind you, but by the professional distribution of money into their bank accounts). Oddly enough, there was quite the breaking of social norms in my search for this book. It was in the humor aisle and bookstore aisles are not roomy and spacious so that two and a half shopping carts (buggies for those of you of the Southern persuasion) can easily careen down. As I zeroed in on my book, I noticed two other similarly aged college students in the aisle: one seated Indian, er, I mean, Native American style on the ground and the other standing and reading like a loitering book reader.
As I made the move for my book, the Native American sitter moved one of his legs up and farted.
I raised my eyebrows--mentally. Not sure whether to laugh or to respond by any other means, I grabbed my book and got out of there before the mustard gas from his @$ did its work.
Seriously...who farts in public! Especially that loudly! There are about ten dozen other discrete ways to relieve the pressure and he chose the road less traveled (it makes sense because he was in a bookstore).
The book is by A.J. Jacobs. I read his first book called The Know-It-All: One Man's Humble Quest to Become the Smartest Person in the World a year or two ago and have decided to start on his The Year of Living Biblically: One Man's Humble Quest to Follow the Bible as Literally as Possible. I thoroughly enjoyed the former book and I am kind of miffed that the latter book will always be sullied with the sounds of farting. I am also reminded of a prayer from Ned Flanders to God about how he has always done everything the Bible had told him to do; even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff. Sure, Neighborino, the Bible is telling you to stone adulters on one page and on the next page to love them.
A little consistency would go a long way.
3 comments:
First off, I'm just proud of you and the others for not forcing the Native American sitter off your isle and sequester him to the poorest part of the bookstore. However, after what he did, maybe it would not have been such a bad idea.
That book appears highly interesting. I would like to know what you think about it after you are done. I've recently read "The Kite Runner" and "The Road" and enjoyed them both. I think I'll start "A Thousand Splendid Suns" soon, but in the meantime I am wallowing in lethargy.
Next time someone blasts you with a fart in the book store you need to either fan it back into their face, or perform the all impressive "butter-cup" where you fart into your cupped hand and hold it over their nose. Works like a charm.
I also ate Coldstone tonight and nearly wet myself because it was sooooo good. It's been a long time since I'd eaten it.
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