School started today for me as I am rocking Tuesdays and Thursdays classes. I'm a bit apprehensive because of last semester's spiral into the land of failing all my classes. I pretty ashamed...it's UVU...yeah.
I was still pulling straight A's by the end of October but I was worn down by my 19 credit course load. And I started to fall apart like that one guy in the first Poltergeist movie who had his flesh melt away in the bathroom--it's that intense. In all seriousness, though, I have a terrible problem with perfectionism. I'll save the explanations for possible origins for another lengthy discussion on the psychosis that was my childhood. Anyway, I tend to go into whatever I am doing with guns blazing, running for the chopter all Arnold-like...this in and of itself is not the problem. The plot twist is hidden in my temper tantrum meltdowns that occur when I am not perfect. Instead of reassessing the situation like people of the normal persuasion, I get angry and I refuse to do anything else.
Example: I missed one day of class so therefore I can't ever come back so I give up on the whole semester. It's like mold on a loaf of bread because even though one slice has mold, you can't really eat the other slices because you know the spores have infected the other pieces of bread--in fact, this is exactly like that.
It's hard to describe this neurotic perfectionism but I am trying to realize the damages it is doing to my personal, scholastic, and professional life.
Truth be told, it is very much a habit.
So my goals are to keep morale high and sugar intake up and steady.
I'm in my last four GE classes of my college life. It's kind of thrilling...and easily eclipsed by the semester before but I am going to try to stay positive.
Watch out world.
Ye be warned.
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1 comments:
That sounds like the opposite of perfectionism. It sounds like an easy way out. :finger waggle:
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